I feel kind of like a piece of shit; my pregnancy has been sinfully easy. Sometimes I fear Siren must be at risk for birth defects, just because being pregnant with her is so abnormally normal. Yeah, my back hurts--especially where my spine starts headed eastbound from scoliosis--and I'm always way hungrier than I have room in there for, and Siren's options for in-the-womb playtime seem to involve either my cervix or my ribcage, but I feel like those discomforts are par for the course. I did sign myself up to sublet my uterus to a first-time roommate. (She probably leaves all the lights on in there before I get home. She definitely eats all the food.)
The traditionally-associated discomforts of pregnancy, though--the stretchmarks, the unshakable extra pounds, the swelling feet & ankles--have all escaped me. My mother was the same way: she remained relatively small throughout her pregnancy, and (like myself) had no need to buy bigger clothes. We do come from an island nation where nearly one-hundred million tiny Asian people share land.
That said, there are a few things I wish Facebook had bothered to waste their poor advertising on--many of them things no one tells you before you decide to keep your kid. Among them...
- "Hey, is your snatch really itchy for no reason?"
- "Actually, come to think of it, is the rest of you really itchy, too?"
- "Are you hairy as fuck? Like, moreso than usual?"
- "Do drunk dudes try to hit on you by asking if they can touch your belly?"
- "Were you on birth control when you got pregnant, and want to choose a form of birth control for after you give birth, in a pathetic attempt to prevent this from happening to you in another year-and-a-half?"
I really gotta get rollin' on number five. I thought it was just poverty, poor family planning, and religious fundamentalism that dictate why Filipinos automatically associate sexual activity with pregnancy. Boy howdy, was I wrong as shit...
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